Published October 12, 2025 

Something you may have heard often, especially in the final days of Major League Baseball’s regular season, is this: “We control our own destiny.”

To some, it’s an example of a phrase — with an unnecessary word and a false premise — that we just roll with.

We control our own destiny.

You’ll hear it more the deeper we get into college and pro football season.

“We control our own destiny.”

But do they?

Do these players, coaches and teams really control their destiny? Merriam-Webster says destiny is “something to which a person or thing is destined.” Also that it’s “a predetermined course of events often held to be an irresistible power or agency.”

If it’s their destiny, do they really control it? Some say yes. Many say no. Most in the sports world say, “We know what they mean, so what’s the problem?”

What they mean is, “We can win the division if we win enough games so we don’t have to worry about whether those other teams lose enough games to help us.”

Why not say “fate” instead of destiny? Well, there’s a solid argument to be made that there’s no real difference between those two words. Merriam-Webster says both “mean a predetermined state or end.”

If it’s predetermined, do they have any control over it?

A self ‘own’

And what about the possibly probably unnecessary word?

We control our own destiny.
They control their own destiny.

In a roundabout, neurodivergent way, it makes me think of this:

My mom yelled at my aunt last night. She was so mad.

Who was so mad? Now we’re talking about clarity, which should be required.

“They control their destiny” has a pronoun in it before “their destiny” that should make clear who we’re talking about, but readers often don’t know grammar rules to the extent that an editor should. When in doubt, when there’s a chance the reader might be confused, an “unnecessary” word isn’t going to be the worst thing that day.

If it is, I want to live that person’s charmed life. I can’t imagine sweating this one either way because of one word. Unless that word is “destiny.”

I’m still not sure that’s the word they want.

But that ship has sailed. And the phrase has taken on a life of its own. Far be it from me to try to hold back a vessel with such tail winds. There does not seem to be an objection to it where I work (but I’ve been on leave for almost a year, so I guess I’ll find out). I see “their own 40-yard line” all the time when the “own” technically isn’t needed.

The Giants started the drive at their 40-yard line.

One extra three-letter word to ensure clarity for readers who might need it? Who is it hurting other than editors who love to tell you what hill they will die on?

The most important person you are editing for usually turns out to be the one person who does your performance evaluation, not any one of the 6 million subscribers who might read the story and hesitate at that phrasing, unsure, reading it again to understand.

Look, I’ve been doing this for a long time — 42 years, as a matter of fact. “The Giants started the drive at their 40-yard line” is a fine way to write that sentence. If it were to say “their own 40-yard line,” journalism — or the English language — wouldn’t come crashing down around us. Do what works for you and your audience.

Sending love. Protect your peace.

♥

Thank you

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This is why they play the games

I mean, they play the games for many reasons, but I think you get my point.

It’s not my wish to embarrass anyone, but it did make me laugh when I saw it. Hey, I’ve made bad predictions many times. Go bold or go home! I hope that person has been able to shrug it off and can enjoy what’s left of the season.

And now this

This is a good reminder for me to regularly make a fist with both hands. My skin is still slowly healing from my July 10 fall, and my clinic says I need to make sure my hands can both form a fist so I don’t lose the ability to do that.

I would never want to become unable to punch a Nazi.