Published April 25, 2026

Perhaps you’ve noticed that something you saw a few days ago on here is gone. There’s a reason.

My plan to share links to others’ Portland Fire coverage this season met with the worst resistance I can think of: a horrible nightmare within hours of my post about my intentions. I don’t expect anyone to understand, but the dream I had made it clear to me it was a terrible idea.

And although I promise you this is not a play on words or a pun of any kind, the nightmare let me know that what I’d proposed to do was way too close to the fire.

I know that wording won’t make sense to you, but it will to my therapist and medical team, who are still helping me recover from trauma.

My nightmares are awful, usually so realistic that it takes me days or weeks to recover from them, if I ever do. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about them lately.

The photos of the house I grew up in are from Google Street View in 2008. There are clearer images of it, but I chose the one you see because its lack of sharpness seems more appropriate given the look back to childhood.

My bedroom window was the one immediately to the right of the front door (your right).

Oh, and that big tree isn’t there anymore. Hurricane Laura (2020) took it away.

Sorry to let anyone down, but I severely underestimated how damaged I still am. In this case, I think my nightmare was protecting me.

Sending love. Protect your peace.

♥

Thank you

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